DS turns 3 at the end of September, and I'm trying to decide between two preschools.

The first preschool is run by a local church. It's $221/mo for two mornings a week (3 hours each). I also work from home in the afternoons, and hire a nanny to babysit 20 hr/wk at $12/hr. (DS sleeps during half that time, but I need the coverage for days when I go into the office.) So my total cost per month is $1181. He's currently in the two-year-old class there, and I love the teacher. Because of his late birthday and reserved personality, he would stay with that teacher for another semester.

The preschool down the street, where DH can drop him off on the way to work, is $1000/mo. It's a full-time school that is open from 8-6 -- learning activites in the morning, lunch, 2 hour nap, and free playtime in the afternoon. DS would probably stay from 9 until nap is over at 3, so about 30 hr/wk.

I'm having a hard time deciding. The school down the street is cheaper and more convenient, and I think the learning part of the programs is similar. The other big advantage is that when I need to go into the office for a day and work until 6, there's no extra charge, where it's $12/hr if my nanny stays late.

The advantages of the current situation is that I get to spend 3 mornings a week with my son, and when the nanny is taking care of him I can hear them playing. He always stops by my office for a kiss before going down for a nap.

With the school down the street I'd spend about the same amount of time alone with him in the afternoon, say from 3-6. But somehow morning time is so much better than afternoon time!

On the other hand, at 3 perhaps more time with other kids would be better than time alone with a nanny.

If we go to the new school, I've been thinking about keeping him home 3 mornings a week, and leaving him there later in the afternoon. So the schedule might be 9 - 4 MW and 12-4 on TThF. The problem is I don't know if the director will be accomodating if I have my son skip so much of the academic portion -- she doesn't seem to be very flexible and could very well tell us to take him to another school instead. She's also set a July 7 start date, so that kills part of the summer for swim lessons, etc. (There are only 8 spots total for kids born Sep-Dec '05, and of course a waiting list, so it's pretty easy for her to tell us to take a walk.)

There are 2 other daycares that would be reasonable to consider, but I haven't checked them out yet, and so would probably end up on a waiting list.

It's a tough decision -- my heart says stay with the current setup, my head says the new school makes more sense financially and schedule-wise. I'm sure my son would thrive at either school.

My last blog entry about my career was a long one -- I need to learn to edit my writing to a more blog-friendly length! Anyway, one of the things I have been surfing a lot lately are a few sites where people are trying to get a mother's movement started. It's trying to take up where the last wave of feminism left off -- changing society to better support the needs of all mothers, whether SAHM or working part or full time, and their children.

The site www.momsrising.org has a lot of interesting content and some good blogs, but the forum is non-functional which leaves me to wonder whether there's really much momentum there yet.

Sometimes I think about getting involved in the movement, if there really is one. It would be pretty easy to start a "playgroup" to find other women in my city who are interested in becoming active (there is a great organization here that facilitates the formation of playgroups that I could tap into) but I don't know that I am really up for being the leader. If I'm able to start a consulting career like I hope then I won't have as much free time to devote to being politically active. I've also considered starting a playgroup for scientists and engineers to network. We've got 2 scientists in my current playgroup who tried to return work after their babies were born but quit because their managers were just too unaccomodating.

So is anyone here involved in the mother's movement? What organization(s) or web forums would you recommend that I check out?

DH cooked dinner every night from early in my pregnancy until our son was about 10 months old. He's such a great cook, and he volunteered, so who was I to mess with a good thing? But he had to start putting in really long hours on a work project, so I decided I would start making more of an effort in the kitchen.

I discovered that the actual cooking isn't that much of a chore, but I absolutely hate figuring out what to make from the ingredients on hand. I even hate it when DH asks me, "What would you like me to make you for dinner?" I'm just too lazy to sit down and come up with a menu for the week before going to the grocery store.

Believe it or not, I found the perfect solution on the internet, and thought some of you might be interested: www.savingdinner.com

For a $10 subscription, every week the site emails me 6 recipes and, very key, the grocery list to go with them. Every recipe has been simple, quick (< 30 minutes), healthy, and very flavorful. You can choose between 2, 4, or 6 servings, and between regular, low carb, heart healthy, vegetarian, frugal, crock pot, and weight loss menus.

I've been using it about 4 months now, and have seen our grocery bills fall by 25%.

Everyone has their own system, but this one really works for me!

When I was still working I couldn't figure out why it seemed like I was spending all my free time cleaning, so I tried flylady. I laid out a cleaning schedule (as she suggests) and actually timed how long each task took because I was so annoyed about the whole thing. It turned out that no matter how I sliced and diced it, there was always about 5 hours of cleaning per week. I could either do it all at once on the weekend or spend an hour after work every night, but it was 5 hours just the same.

DH didn't want to spend time each night cleaning, and didn't like losing so much weekend time. I decided I didn't either, so rather than continue to nag him or do most of it myself, I hired someone to come every other week. And guess what -- it takes two people working together 2.5 hours, or 5 hours total! It's $80/visit and worth every penny.

Most housecleaners don't think it's worth their while to pick up less than a full house, but maybe you could post an ad on Craig's List or at your local grocery store to find someone who would be willing to do a smaller job on a regular basis for less.

Another cross post:

My baby is 15 months old now, so here's where our money went for the big purchases (in San Diego). I'm in a position to buy new when I want it, but I also like getting a good deal at a garage sale or resale shops. Not everything on my list below is essential, so you can cut back where you see fit.

Even if you breastfeed, be sure and ask for free formula samples at every doctor's visit. I ran into issues with my milk supply at around 4 months, and because I had stocked up on the free formula during the early visits I saved quite a bit of money. If you don't use them you can always donate them later. Also, use up your formula coupons before they expire! I got caught out with quite a few of those.

I made some of my own baby food, but found that even using frozen veggies I wasn't saving enough to make it worth the effort. I calculated that it was about a 20% savings -- but 20% of $30 is only $6.

I use the most expensive brand of diapers (Pampers) because I like them the best. Target and Costco brands are about half the price. I've heard that cloth diapers can be quite expensive initially (you need multiple sizes as they grow), so do research and the math before making a decision. Of couse you save a bunch when you use them for a 2nd kid.

There's also a Carter's clothing outlet where I often find new clothes for $5-$7 (as opposed to $10-$20 new). You can get resale clothes for $1-$5, but some are very faded so you have to be willing to dig.

My equipment list (below) for the first year comes to $1540. I'm sure I've missed some things and the little extras add up so $2000 sounds quite reasonable. I might suggest budgeting closer to the $100/month for diapers, formula, food, and extras. And check out the increase in insurance with your husband's employer, since everyone's rates are different.

Currently I seem to be spending about $75-$100 per month on things like toys, clothes, and misc purchase from Babies R Us. I'm spending about $50/month on diapers and $40/month on whole milk and baby food, so I'm closer to $150 - $200 per month for baby. I think our insurance is about $100 extra per month.

If I had to, I could probably cut back to $25/month on toys, clothes, and misc, $25 on diapers, and maybe $30 on milk and food, for a total of $80/month for baby.


0-3 months
combo stroller/car seat $75 new at Target
bassinet gift, but I've seen them for $40 resale
crib & mattress $200 garage sale (was $600 new!)
bouncy seat $20 resale
pack-n-play $25 garage sale
monitor $20 new
front carrier $60 new
breastfeeding pillow $40 new
bottles, nipples, etc about $30 new
diaper champ $25 new
2 changing table pads $25 new
diaper bag free from hospital
breastfeeding free
diapers can't remember, maybe $60/month?


3-6 months
swing -- gift, but I've seen them for $40 resale
exersaucer $40 resale
backpack $20 resale
playmat $15 ebay
breastpump rental for 2 months about $150
breastfeeding free
formula supplements free samples from doctor's office
diapers $50-60/month

6-9 months
jogging stroller $25 garage sale
high chair $120 new
convertible car seat $120 new
convertible car seat (2nd car) $120 new
better backpack $60 resale
baby proofing stuff about $40 new
3 gates, $60 each = $180 new
formula $20/month Target brand
baby food about $30/month
diapers $50/month

9-12 months
umbrella stroller $30 new
walker/ride-on toy $10 resale
outdoor baby swing $10 resale
formula $20/month Target brand
baby food about $30/month
diapers $50/month

12-15 months
2 gallons whole milk per week -- about $18/month
baby food about $20/month
diapers $50/month

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One expense I forgot to mention when I did this post was clothes for mom! Not only do you need maternity clothes, but also clothes to wear as you are losing the baby weight. Losing weight is highly touted as a benefit of breastfeeding, but my experience was just the opposite -- my body would rather cut milk supply than let go of body fat, and after the first month I did not lose any weight until I stopped breasfeeding at 7 months. I'm still 10 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, and as a result have bought 3 pair of shorts, 3-4 pair of jeans and pants, 10 summer tops, 10 winter tops, and underwear in my current size. I'm working on those last 10 pounds again, but will reuse the clothes after the next pregnancy.